imagine there was a petting zoo but instead of animals there were band members
« I’m not very religious. I’m not. My Uncle Tom? He’s super religious. The other day, he’s walking down the street? He gets mugged and shot in the chest. Now miraculously.. *miraculously* he always keeps a Bible in his front jacket pocket. So he had something to read as he bled to death »
- Anthony Jeselnek (via cakegolem)
« Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Because we are not the person involved. »
- Mark Twain (via beautyofdailylife)
Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions" page 87
- Kilgore Trout: "Well, I used to be a conservationist. I used to weep and wail about people shooting bald eagles with automatic shotguns from helicopters and all that, but I gave it up. There's a river in Cleveland which is so polluted that it catches fire about once a year. That used to make me sick, but I laugh about it now. When some tanker accidently dumps its load in the ocean, and kills millions of birds and billions of fish, I say, 'More power to Standard Oil,' or whoever it was that dumped it. 'Up your ass with Mobil gas.'"
- Truck Driver: "You're Kidding"
- Kilgore Trout: "I realized that God wasn't any conservationist; so for anybody else to be one was sacrilegious and a waste of time. You ever see one of His volcanoes or tornadoes or tidal waves? Anybody ever tell you about the Ice Ages He arranges every half-million years? How about Dutch Elm disease? There's a nice conservation measure for you. That's God, not man.
- Truck Driver: "Come to think about it, I don't think there's anything about conservation anywhere in the Bible."
- Kilgore Trout: "Unless you want to count the story about the flood."
